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Q4 Separator-Film Throughput Increased 4.8%. Hang The Banner.

Subject
Internal Production Report, Module Plant 3
Rating
11 / 10 — PERSONAL BEST
Filed
January 19, 2031 · 31 min read

4.8 PERCENT

Four. Point. Eight. Percent.

I want you to understand what that number means.

Separator film is the thin polymer membrane that sits between the cathode and the anode and prevents them from touching. If they touch, you have a thermal event. A 'thermal event' is what we call it in the industry when something becomes, briefly, on fire.

So separator film is, you could argue, the most important non-active component in the entire cell.

And we just made 4.8% more of it per hour than we did last quarter.

PER. HOUR.

Y'all are out here celebrating the Lions making the playoffs. That's cool. Genuinely. I'm happy for Detroit.

But while Jared Goff was throwing a 12-yard out route, my team was reducing separator-film web-tension variance from ±2.1% to ±0.9%. That is more than a 50% reduction in variance. That is a STRUCTURAL improvement.

Jared Goff cannot reduce web-tension variance. I want to be clear that this is not a criticism of Jared Goff. He has his job. I have mine.

The banner has been ordered. It is 40 feet wide. It says Q4 SEPARATOR-FILM THROUGHPUT +4.8% — MODULE PLANT 3 — WE DID THAT in 18-inch hi-vis letters. It will hang from the catwalk above Line 4 until Q1 numbers come in, at which point, God willing, it will be replaced.

GOD WILLING

11 out of 10. I added a point because nobody asked me to and nobody is going to stop me.

— Big Gretchface
Filed from a folding chair on the catwalk above Line 4