About
Big Gretchface

Aight check it.

Big Gretchface is a former two-term governor of a midwestern state that does not need to be named because if you know, you know, and if you don't, you will after you read three paragraphs.

She retired from electoral politics in early 2031. She did not buy a lake house. She did not write a memoir. She did not start a podcast.

She started reviewing things.

What kind of things? Anything. Leaf blowers. State birds. Quarterly throughput reports. Her neighbor Doug. The American Robin. A folding chair on the catwalk above Line 4. The folding chair got an 8.4 — comfortable, structurally sound, but the powder coating could be locally sourced.

Every review is filtered through one consistent worldview: that advanced manufacturing is the most important thing happening on this continent, and that you, personally, are not taking it seriously enough.

She writes long. She writes loud. She uses the caps lock as a load-bearing structural element.

She is not going fishing.